By:Tina Lesher
When I was laboring in academia, I often taught students about an important libel case from 1735. At one point I would say: To help the defendant, his friends corralled an octogenarian lawyer from Philadelphia.
I would see puzzled looks on my students’ faces. “What kind of a lawyer is an octogenarian one?” they would ask almost simultaneously.
They had no clue that I was referring to the lawyer’s age!
Well, they probably had not run across the word in their young lives. And frankly, I seldom used that word at all in conversation or writing. But now it is a major part of my life!
I have entered the ranks of octogenarians. Yes, Thanksgiving Day 2023 marks my 80th birthday.
I am not exactly enthused about the whole thing. Still, I am able to comment on what life is like as I navigate this new chapter of life.
LOOKING THE PART: When people find out how old I am, they always say: But you look so good for your age. Mind you, no matter how awful I appear, every single person will comment likewise. And I do the same thing when someone reveals his/her age to me---I act so surprised while I am often thinking the person actually looks older than that age!
RAILING ON…Yes, I could rail on, as they say, about things I like or dislike. But one thing I am forced to like---RAILINGS! We now have railings from our basement to the attic, and I cling to them as I go up and down stairs. And I watch wherever I am to see if railings exist. (And who decided to remove those people movers from some of the airport terminals???)
TELEVISION…My family got our first TV in about 1950 (the first television set in Dunmore, Pa.) and it was about 12 inches or something like that. If we had owned a giant-sized screen like those prevalent today, we would have had to remove all the living room furniture to accommodate the set. We would have had standing room only in our abode.
Mentioning my childhood favorite TV show---Kukla, Fran and Ollie—always gets interesting reactions from younger people who cannot believe I even watched a puppet show. Well, it was that or The Lone Ranger.
I must say I enjoyed listening to the news when I was a youngster. No need for a panel of pundits to discuss the news---we had good anchors who reported the news…period.
HEIGHT…Yes, the height of all insults is to mention that I get shorter each year. No kidding---that is what happens to octogenarians. We are closer to the ground compared to when we were 60 or 70. God forbid I would try to enhance my height by wearing four-inch heels. I am thankful I can afford Hoka sneakers.
ON THE DOCKET…Well, my personal calendar is laden with doctors’ appointments. If it’s not my feet, it’s my hands. How about that sore arm---is it arthritis? Oh, and who at 80 has not weathered cataract surgery? It is like a ritual for old people. It is like a moneymaker for eye surgeons.
As for pills---I have them courtesy of the neurologist, the urologist, the ophthalmologist, the endocrinologist, the dermatologist…get the GIST???
I think at age 80 you should have one pill a day---an aspirin. Maybe a martini would be better.
DISCOUNT, PLEASE…Once you hit 80, you should get a discount on all types of goods. Check out of your favorite supermarket and 15% should be axed from your bill. After all, you have been buying groceries at that shop for more than half a century so you deserve a reward.
Look what we spend on Amazon---least we should get is a free gift card every time we hit a thousand dollars in purchases.
Oh, how I love Dollar Tree…discovered that business in my old age and am proud of my dollar reading glasses that now cost $1.25. What nerve---to increase the prices 25 percent all at once and still keep the Dollar Tree name. Hey, keep the dollar prices for customers who are 80 or older!
TRAVEL…Advice: do not stop traveling because you are an octogenarian! You have earned the right to see the world.
Fortunately I have been lucky enough to do so and have logged more than 40 countries/islands.
Last month, my husband, John, and I vacationed in Aruba to celebrate his 80th birthday. We are weighing where we will go next…I want to go to Antarctica but my spouse has ICED that idea!
Twice I have lived in Abu Dhabi and that proved a good base for travel in that region.
So many great travel memories, but I must say I really enjoyed being at The Hermitage in St. Petersburg, Petra in Jordan, The Parthenon in Athens, Blue Mosque in Istanbul. I laughed with the monkeys in Gibraltar and logged miles of walking in Lisbon. But many memories come from the following:
GREAT MEALS…Over the decades I have had the chance (with John, of course) to have some memorable eating experiences that have been highlights of our trips: Dover sole in Monaco and Bruges…lunches at the famed Burj Al Arab in Dubai…dinner at a small fish eatery in Santorini…burgers at Harry’s Bar in London and in Rome and in Manhattan…fish specialties at LeBernadin in NYC…a chicken dish at La Fontaine de Mars in Paris… drinks at Shanghai’s Puli Hotel at the longest bar I have ever seen…shrimp on a stone at Papiamento in Aruba…truffles in every course at La Truffle Noir in Brussels…a one-of-everything on the menu at some restaurant in Fujiyama, Japan…and cod, cod, cod in Portugal.
And some unusual meals: In Morocco we ate at some outdoor event where we were served half a lamb or something replete with legs---John thought it was great and I stuck to rice…we also had the pleasure of eating at Noma, the famous Copenhagen restaurant where the multi-course menu includes such things as ants and rocks. John was not enthusiastic about the fare or the $500 per head cost.
Cooking classes have been a popular choice for us in the past several years, mostly because John has taken a real interest in all things culinary. So we have taken cooking classes in NJ and elsewhere. A favorite was a private cooking class last year from a well-known cook on the island of Domenica although I did have my lifetime fill of plantains that day. (Prepared three ways!)
SPORTS…God bless the guys who started pickleball as I enjoy that game immensely. I can play with people of all ages and I love the exercise. Of course, I have been playing golf for four decades and I am as bad as I was from the start. But I still hit the links!
Riding my $99 beach bike also gives me a chance to exercise. In a half-hour ride around the neighborhood I note how many homes have changed hands in the half-century we have lived in this section of Westfield.
Yes, octogenarians are truly active---believe me, I never saw this trend back in Dunmore. Actually, we really did not have many octogenarians, and if people did live to that age, they were housebound or shipped off to Maloney Home and the Little Sisters of the Poor. Seriously…
FOR REAL…When I tell people I remember “the old days,” they do not seem to think I really recall such things---Yes, the milkman brought bottles every day to our home…the doctor came to the house…young boys delivered the newspapers and came weekly to get paid…some man came to our Dunmore home at about 4 a.m. each day to stoke the furnace. After all we were in coal country…we did not eat meat on Fridays…we never wore slacks to church…in summer, a woman would walk down our street with a big dishpan on her head and would yell “Huckleberries for Sale” and our mothers would negotiate the price… we had a housekeeper (and my poor children only had me to handle the chores LOL)…we did not drink wine---whiskey and beer were the choices at our local bars that stayed open until the wee hours…we had 75 in one class at St. Paul’s School in Scranton (where Joe Biden also was a student) but we learned well courtesy of the nuns…we never heard of soccer…
IF I HAD TO DO IT OVER…I would work harder to get my books put out by a credible publisher…I would concentrate on being a comedienne (yes, I have taken comedy classes and did appear twice at Caroline’s Comedy Club)…I would live near an ocean as I love sitting and watching the waves…I would learn how to make gravy…
AMEN…I rue the term octogenarian but I am stuck with the designation so I will make the best of it. I am celebrating my birthday in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean as John and I head to NY aboard the Queen Mary 2, an ocean liner on which we have had five previous trips. Two weeks ago our marvelous children hosted a lovely dinner to mark the joint 80th birthdays of their parents. Hope they are saving up for our 90th birthday celebrations.