By: Tina Lesher
The weeks-long semi-hibernation, courtesy of the coronavirus, has resulted in my making some observations about pandemic living. Out of boredom more than anything else, I hereby submit a list of what I have observed in the past many weeks. Is it nine? Or 11? Or whatever…
Bicycles are the favorite mode of exercise. If only I owned a bike shop because their sales are booming---everyone wants to have a bike. I see scores of bike riders every day---many are trading their usual gym visits for pedaling around the neighborhood streets. I am one of those riders, tooling around in my cheap beach bike that I bet I could sell for big bucks these days!
Forget flowers or shrubs: Balloons are the latest outdoor décor for homes in our town. At least one or two homes on EVERY block are festooned with balloon creations designed to celebrate a birthday or graduation. So who ever thought balloon companies would POP UP to be the success story of a pandemic?
Word of the month? MASK. We are wearing them and politicians are arguing about UNMASKING certain important people. And when I saw a recent re-run of The Lone Ranger, I noticed that his mask would not pass muster in this virus era.
Screaming for streaming. I cannot imagine a household that lacks Netflix or Amazon Prime or some other so-called streaming service. My spouse and I watch an episode of some show every night and, at times, take a 30-day trial on a service we previously never heard of. This is a long way from my upbringing in Pennsylvania: my family’s Dumont TV set had one channel and we watched Kukla, Fran and Ollie constantly. (Oh, you never head of that? You must be under 70). https://slate.com/culture/2015/02/kukla-fran-and-ollie-the-gentle-puppets-that-bewitched-america-in-the-1950s.html
Food store craze. Those of us who (thankfully) have the resources to go to the store and buy provisions are stocking up. The average family now owns about 50 boxes of pasta. Of course, it is not easy to get to the pasta section when you must abide by the one-way aisle mandate and thus pass by the candy shelves enroute to the spaghetti? We have so much dark chocolate…
Sidewalks. Why are homeowners not fined for allowing their sidewalks to be in horrendous shape? I walk with my head turned down to avoid falling. This approach does not help when the sidewalk extends right into a major street.
Culinary Artist. Yes, I have become a baker of sorts in these trying times. (I mean I am trying). My specialty: peanut butter cookies. Three ingredients: a cup of peanut butter, a cup of granulated sugar and one egg. 10 minutes in oven. Those cookies are addictive---well, I eat the whole batch myself as I compliment myself for such good baking!
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow. Or at least the color that normally rests on one’s head. It is missing in action and replaced by gray strands that are exploding in the hair of people my age. Will I get to dye before I die?
Weight a minute. Eating all day is a way of life for homebound people. Missing my regular swimming and classes at the Y has translated to a pounding on my body. Emphasis on POUNDing.
Zoom fatigue. So many people spend their days in Zoom-like sessions and smile while continually looking at an unshaved colleague/friend behind his computer in a basement? The trend should become the basis of a new song for the next Broadway presentation of OKLAHOMA: “I could have ZOOMED all night and still have asked for more.” God forbid.
Recycling Day and this is what I observed in a walk around the neighborhood: Most people were recycling empty cases from a wine store delivery, or scores of liquor and beer bottles. The liquor stores never had to close in New Jersey and that says a lot about the Garden State! Those passing our abode on Recycling Day may notice that we love red wine…and white wine.
Sad elements: The obits have taken up many pages in our daily newspapers. And major chains are sold out of sympathy cards. Never thought I would see that in my lifetime. (And I thank God I still am in my lifetime).